Genital herpes is a topic that has become very popular on television these days, as big time pharmaceutical companies spend millions of dollars advertising their immuno-suppressive drugs such as Valtrex to treat this sexually transmitted disease. While herpes is no longer a "taboo" subject in the news, it continues to be very difficult for those who are afflicted with it to "spill the beans" when they are faced with a potential new relationship.
Many people who have herpes used to think that as long as they did not have sex during an outbreak, that it was ok to keep the secret, as they were not putting people at risk if they had no visible lesions. But according to the latest studies, it is possible to spread herpes at ANY time, even while you are being treated with say, once daily Valtrex to minimize the occurence of epidodes.
So, the question remains, when should you tell. And the answer will always most likely remain the same. You should tell BEFORE YOU HAVE SEX with someone. Doing otherwise is an outright lie by omission, and can be seen as a betrayal of trust. If you have a desire to start a relationship with someone, then being upfront and honest at the beginning, will show the other person that you have integrity, and they will be far more apt to stay with you when you do tell, as they will respect you for having the courage to face your worst fear, rejection!
If you withhold this information, have sex and then enter into a relationship, you have put that person at risk, and when you finally do tell, they may not be very happy about it. Getting it out of the way in the beginning will put you at ease so that you can be yourself. If the person does not want to be with you because of it, then you will not have wasted any of your precious time.
But, you are asking, how do you tell? You start by doing so in a non-confrontational manner, by just being honest and open, and simply taking responsiblity for doing the right thing. When you tell, you should be in a neutral environment, not in the bed ready to have sex. This will give the other person some time to think about things, so they won't feel pressured or uncomfortable. Heck, have them over for dinner and tell them after having a glass or two of wine, so that you feel more relaxed. Whatever, the key here is that you don't want to make a huge deal out of it. You want to be honest and informative, so make sure that you are knowledgeable about the disease, so that if your partner has any questions, you can answer them accordingly.
Just remember, honesty is always the best policy, and the truth will always set you free! If you use this as your personal motto, then you will always do the right thing and it won't come back and bite you in your proverbial ass!
